Tuesday, December 27, 2005

holiday osho...

well...today marks the 1 year anniversary of my move to SF. it actually doesn't feel like it's been a full year. except when i think about the people i haven't seen in that time. (memories) so much has happened and yet not much at all. new friendships made, old ones lost and lots of growth in between. i had the privilege of spending my holidays surrounded by love and sharing that with very beautiful souls. one of them gave me a postcard that had a simple meditation written on it. of course i wanted to share. it's what i do.

SWEET-HEARTED ONE, MEDITATE ON KNOWING AND NOT KNOWING, EXISTING AND NOT EXISTING, THEN LEAVE BOTH ASIDE THAT YOU MAY BE

peace

Thursday, December 8, 2005

college and care packages...

i just realized it's care package time :-) one of my favorite times of the year in college was right during finals. amidst all the late night study groups, cliff's notes, coffee binges and illegal papers from the internet (i was just looking for general direction...really) we would send out these letters to parents encouraging them to buy care packages for their students.
a care package is a box/bag of goodness filled with everything a student needs for finals.
stuff like:
paper
pencils
notebooks
highlighters
and most importantly late-night studying junk food (my favorite was fruit roll ups. processed pressed fruit...yummy!)

all packed in a box/bag along with a nice warm-fuzzy note from the parent or friend who sent it.

yeah, i love care packages.

so for all you fellow crammers out there (and you goody two shoes who actually did your work on time and are prepared), here's your care package of love from me to you...GOOD LUCK ON FINALS!!!!

peace

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

past lives and home videos...

i was telling my friend zoe that i think i was a bird in one of my past lives. a beautiful, rare, exotic bird :-) maybe i was even called an "nzingha" bird. nah, that would be too cheesy. but, i know i always seem to get antsy when i stay in one place for too long, like i'm need to take flight and re-locate. see. yeah, i was a bird :-) you ever think about that? past lives? i'm reading a book about past life regressions. now, i'm definitely a skeptic, but it's quite interesting. many people have claimed to have gotten over life fears by finding out where the fears originated (another lifetime) and by doing so, letting them go.

interesting.

in other news, sadly i cannot go home for christmas. the 1 year anniversary of "i haven't seen my family or been home" will be dec 27th. i miss them so. they really are to coolest people i know. so, since i can't be there, in a moment of utter genius, which i rarely have, i decided to make a home video for them! i work at a tv network, so it shouldn't be that hard to get help. right? so, i'm going to tape where i live, where i work, where some asshole did a hit and run on my front bumper, and all my friends here in SF. and then i'll do a special birthday jig for daddy (my grandpa) because his birthday is christmas eve.

yeah, it's going to be good. if the procrastinator in me will just stay at bay long enough for me to finish.

what are your holiday plans?? if you're in SF, let's get together, kiss under the mistletoe, sing some tunes, and have some rum with a little egg nog in it. but just a little egg nog, i don't really like it that much :-)

peace

Thursday, December 1, 2005

the dreaded f...

i have made a couple of big steps into the world these last couple of weeks. it doesn't matter what they were, but the lesson that i learned from them.

i know...i live in my head WAY too much :-) so here it is:

letting go of fear is freeing...

*insert your own personal interpretation here* it's quite a simple statement i agree, but one so often overlooked. think about the things you don't do because.

ex) i want to move, but what if _____?
i like him/her, but what if _____?
i want to do this/that, but what if ____?

we miss out on so very much by allowing those things to take precedence over our living. letting our fears run our lives. not to say we should all just run around like crazy crazes (come on now, youre being nit-picky), but i know for myself, there are definitely some things that are holding me back. i try to live life to the fullest i know how. if i never see those scary/unknown situations through, they would be just another one of those. how can that be truly living? you know what, even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. you will have your heart broken probably more than once. you'll fight with your best friend. you'll fail at more than one thing, more than once. so there. the secrets out and you know your future. now you can go out and LIVE because every chance passed, is a beautiful experience you'll never get back.

here i am trying.