today i have been unpacking. i have this fear of unpacking because i'm afraid to get too settled. i have been living out of my damn boxes since i got back. why? well, i don't want to be here for too terribly long, still places to go; things and people to see you know. but, it's known. it's comfortable. everything will be ok here. and to me, putting things out and giving them places makes it so much easier to get stuck. so, today i realized that i hadn't shared any energy with or engaged with my house either. this may sound strange to you, but it's true. i promise. so my house has felt kinda cold and foreign.
today, i started taking out pics and putting little touches here and there. it's nice. it feels warmer. also, i am an uber cleaner so it's been like heaven to my OCD side. i got up and started at 9am, helped someone move from 11-1pm and then came back and am just stopping.
tonight i'll sit in my fabulously clean and "nzingha-fied" living room and watch american gansta while having some sessions with my mom, her best friend ms. donna sue, and one of my oldest buddies, kenny.
although we gained an hour last weekend, it now gets dark at 5:45pm. like, i can see the stars through the window dark. at 5:45pm. the crickets just started chirping. it's about 72 here at night. it's nice to leave the windows open when you sleep, and as the seasons change, the smell of pine is strong in the passing breeze.
fast is going GREAT. today is day 6 and i'm feeling good. a little more clear. a little more in tune. a little more focused. a little more calm.
not to say it's not hard. at least once every couple of hours (sometimes twice and thirds) i go into this insanity where i think i'm going to eat everything in sight and little cupcakes dance to rhyming jingles in circles around my head. so yeah, i'm strugglin.
but imma be aight.
anyhoo, gonna get back to it. whatever it is. i dedicate 2 songs to you. feelin' good by nina simone. she'll change you. i know, it's that serious. and i'll be your lover too by van morrison. he's just such a great classic.
oh, and since the christmas season is coming up and everyone is beginning to play their cheer-y holiday soundtracks, i give you my nzingha's holiday music arc: two, two by two's:
the ONLY 2 christmas cd's i would recommend to you (in particular order):
1) a charlie brown christmas by vince guaraldi trio
2) merry christmas by mariah carey
and...top 2 favorite christmas songs for me will always and forever be (again, in particular order):
1) carol of the bells
2) santa baby by marylin
sending you many warm vibes of goodness...