thank god it's friday!

happy friday to all! these past couple of days have been quite fantastic if i do say so myself. and i just did. beautiful weather, which always elevates my spirit, and some good socializing with some fabulous new ladies i met. not necessarily new friends, just new energies prime for connection; especially because i was sensing that they had stories to tell. in general i'm usually pretty nosey right off. who cares if i never see them again, i don't like surfacey interaction. i like to know what makes people tick. it's quite intriguing...

i ALSO saw paul mooney do stand-up here in SF last night. he's been on the chappelle show but the coolest part to me was that he used to write for richard pryor. now that's sick. the show was ridiculous! he's so fuckin' raw and i loved it! my personal highlight you might ask?

paul mooney in the beginning of the show:
"i think we should kill all the white people. what if my momma was white? the bitch would be dead."

paul mooney at the end of the show:
"thank you white people for braving it and staying through the whole show."

to all my pigmently challenged friends, you know i love you, but that shit was funny. sorry bout it.

so anyways, i'm off to see my grandma this weekend and eat some delicious pakistani food, sleep all day and watch DVD's until the wee hours of the morn. which for me is like 11PM. :-)

whatever you do, wherever you're doing it and whoever you're doing it with...make sure you use protection. hahahaha. no, but really, have a great and safe weekend.

i'll see you on monday...

peace

hangin' out to dry...

i miss the smell of the sheets right after grandma brings them in from the clothes line outside. i used to wrap myself up and hide within them; dreaming dreams and thinking thoughts...

they always smell just like a summers day. as if by breathing them in, i could feel the warmth of the sun shining down and the energy of the afternoon breeze flowing through, just as they had.

peace

rainbows and flutterby's...

this is how i started my morning. ache! mother nature is truly the most beautiful of artists...

peace

stigmata...

i read this quite a while ago, and it often comes back to me presented in the most random of ways. today it was my niece who needed me to read something for her online and it happened to be at the top corner of the page.

from the gospel of thomas:

"the kingdom of God is inside you and all around you; not in mansions of wood and stone. split a piece of wood...and I am there. lift a stone...and there you will find me."

no matter what spiritual path you follow, i love the empowerment and freedom this presents...

peace

april showers bring may flowers?

it has been HELLA rainy here. i've heard it's not normal of SF weather so it's a bit less depressing, but not by much. i need some sunshiney goodness! i need the sun's warm rays of rejuvenation! my insides (metaphorically and literally) have been melancholy for a while now. a multitude of reasons for this, but one simply being because I haven't been able to be out. cabin fever is a bitch. i miss texas (i remember when it was 75 degrees on christmas day...that's how we do).

-WELL-

saturday the sun came out (YEAH for me!) and i immediately remember how beautiful "being" is. yes, it was that serious. to feel the warmth on my skin, to see the rich colors twinkle and shine, to smell the honeysuckle (which i was pleasantly surprised to find here) and to enjoy people celebrating nature's simple treasures.

waking up around 7AM, i spent ALL day outside. avoiding as many buildings and cars as possible, i ran and hiked and walked and hiked some more. lots of working through thought processes i've been avoiding and LOTS of meditation. ipod shuffle in hand (must have music at all times). hahaha, there were several times when i randomly broke out in a smile for no particular reason other than the fact that i was in a place of pure happiness. i'm a dork, i know. but it was truly a wholesome, great day.

-SO-

here it is monday again and i'm back at work. mondays are rough. memories of the weekend still lingering yet so far away at the same time. the dark clouds are outside hovering, threatening. NO...GO AWAY! i plan to hang onto my saturday for a least a couple more hours...

didn't realize that easter weekend is coming up. anyone doing anything special? i LOVE easter memories. they're filled with pastel colors, new dresses w/ patent leather shoes, and tacky dollar store easter baskets stuffed with that plastic, streamer-like stuff (that's suppose to resemble grass) with those marshmallow easter bunnies that i hate and refuse to eat, but love at the same time. little children secretly thinking of and plotting ways to find the most eggs in the hunt. glorious. i'm going to pinole on saturday to hang with my big brother moe and my in-laws (his wife's family). lots of good spanish/nicaraguan food, cuban cigars, brandy, and latin music. if any of my peeps are going to be on their own and/or just want to be around family (even if it's not yours; believe me, i can definitely dig it) give me a holla and come with. love and light...

peace

who's having an anxiety attack? ME!

"don't be anxious, but in everything, present your request and be thankful...and a peace...which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds..." -philippians 4:6-7

-REREAD IT-

ps: if you're not into reading the bible, more power to you (i'm not these days either), but don't disregard the message because of it's source. you'd be surprised the things we miss out on because we fear/dislike/don't understand/ect. the messenger. there are many lessons to be learned; take what you need, and leave the rest...

peace

remember to breathe...

i can definitely be accused of over nurturing. i'm a lover. i have to remind myself that sometimes, it's ok to let go. some things are momentary. does that mean that they weren't just as real or special as we remembered/thought they were? not at all. it just means that their time in our life is no longer in the present.

this has nothing to do with today but is just an example: my best friend in high school, teefa, and i were inseparable. we were called twinkies and sometimes we even dressed alike and could finish each other's sentences. we couldn't function without one another. scary, I know. but we've been through SO much shit together and i'm so thankful for her in my life. fast forward to present date. i haven't seen or really talked to teefa in about 2 years. she got married, had a baby and moved to florida. we email from time to time, but that's about it. does that mean our friendship wasn't as strong as i thought? no. does that mean that our love for one another is obsolete or has somehow lessened? no. it just means that we're in different place in our relationship/lives.

we all have our own life's path the travel. we are constantly crossing and leading and following each others and often times, someone decides to take a journey or two with us. but eventually, we all have our own roads to travel.

some people are in our lives only for a moment.

but all the same, their timing is perfect. whether it be a guide, or a shoulder, or a companion, or something as simple as someone to listen, everything/everyone has it's purpose and it's timing.

STOP TRYING TO HOLD ON! i know it's hard. the what if? the why? the but? if it's meant to be let go, it will take flight whether you want it to or not; whether you hold on as tight as you can or whether you let it go freely. remember to breathe. the universe will continue on. the key, is to recognize that, and be thankful for the moments and the memories...

this is the lesson for me today.

i hope that made a little bit of sense. my mind works in mysterious ways most of the time.

peace

" i love you in a place where there's no space or time
i love you for in my life you are a friend of mine
and when my life is over
remember when we were together
we were alone and I was singing this song for you"